


They are Going Through the Unimaginable

by notimmortal



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Post-Episode: The Abominable Bride, Song references, angsty, but mostly focused on their friendship for once, johnlock if you squint, references to mary being awful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 23:14:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8032774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notimmortal/pseuds/notimmortal
Summary: "If you see him in the streets, walking by himself, talking to himself, have pity. He is working through the unimaginable."





	They are Going Through the Unimaginable

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by and includes lyrics/references to "Hamilton", specifically the song "It's Quiet Uptown" (which makes me cry every time guys). A line from this song is also used as the summary.
> 
> I do not own Sherlock or Hamilton because I'm not awesome, but since both of these things are awesome I decided to combine them in hopes of making something cool

The city was quiet.

 

This would usually be discomforting to Sherlock, but he found himself enjoying the silence today. He had never enjoyed the quiet before, but as he walked through London he felt almost peaceful. Although he knew that he shouldn’t feel this way, he couldn’t help it.

 

John was leaving Mary today.

 

The baby, as it turned out, was not real. It was a ploy, a ridiculous ploy, to keep John with Mary. To distract John with domesticity while Sherlock tried to do the unimaginable. But today that would all come to an end and John would be back. Back by his side, there to listen and help so Sherlock wouldn’t just be walking by himself and talking to himself.

 

Sherlock made his way back to Baker Street, knowing that John would be arriving soon. There was shock at first when John had asked to move back in, John’s voice so dejected as he stated, “I have nowhere else to go, Sherlock.”

 

John’s hair had started to grey, Sherlock had noticed one day a few weeks ago. According to Mycroft, John had taken to walking the length of Baker Street every day. How he managed to avoid Sherlock seeing him was still unknown, but none of it mattered. All that mattered was that John was coming home.

 

***

 

The first few days after John moved back in were tense and silent. It reminded Sherlock why he hated the silence so much, all of the anger and loneliness that hid beneath it. John went through the motions of the day blankly, light never reaching his eyes. Sherlock pondered to himself on when the light must have faded.

 

When left on his own, Sherlock wondered if he should try and help John find a new place. John had only come to him as what seemed to be a last resort, perhaps he would be happier somewhere else. To test the theory, Sherlock began leaving out ads for flat shares throughout London.

 

“What’s with all of these?” John asked one day, breaking the silence that had grown thick around them. “Why are there all of the ads for different flats? Are you looking for a new one? Are you kicking me out?”

 

The sadness Sherlock saw in John’s eyes was too much for him to bear. “I- No of course not John. I just thought…”

 

“You just thought what, Sherlock?” John asked, anger beginning to edge into his words.

 

“I just thought you were unhappy here. With me. So I figured that I would help you leave, if that’s what you wanted,” John stared silently at Sherlock, causing Sherlock to look down in shame. “You had said you were moving back in because you had no place else to go, making it seem as though you didn’t want to be here. I was just trying to give you someplace else. So you could be happy.”

 

John seemed to contemplate this for a moment. “What would even begin to make you think that I’m unhappy, Sherlock?”

 

“You never speak and you won’t even look at me anymore. I know that I’m the reason your wife is gone. Had I never returned, you never would’ve known that she had done anything wrong. She wouldn’t have had to trick you into staying with her because there would have been no other option. And if I could trade places with her, she would be standing here and you would smile. And that would be enough.”

 

“Sherlock–“

 

“I don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing. I know there’s no replacing what you’ve just lost. And please, John, don’t misunderstand me. I don’t want you to leave. If you would just let me stay here by your side that would be enough.”

 

John doesn’t say anything, he just walks away. Sherlock’s eyes follow him out the door as he begins to walk down Baker Street. The sadness in watching this drags Sherlock so deep, he feels as if he will never be able to get back up again. The pain was unimaginable.

 

***

 

John walked to the store by himself.

 

He always seemed to be by himself as of late. Even if Sherlock offered to stand by his side, could the two of them really do it again? Could they really live together and be friends, after everything they had been through? Do they even want to remain friends?

 

After making his purchase, John left the store and was greeted by the sight of a sleek black car. He got in without protest. “Hello, Mycroft.”

 

“No struggle today, Doctor Watson?” the elder Holmes brother asked. “I’m shocked.”

 

“What do you want?”

 

“I wish to know why you’ve fled your flat,” Mycroft said bluntly. “It was to my understanding that you and my brother had worked things out.”

 

“We had, I just… Have you no pity?”

 

“Pity?” Mycroft asked, head tilting sideways. “Whatever for?”

 

“For the poor man who just left his wife.”

 

“You and I both know it’s what you wanted anyway, Doctor Watson. Why feign pity?”

 

“Because I’m working through the unimaginable!”

 

“As is my brother,” Mycroft said icily. “But you must know all about that.”

 

John looked at Mycroft, fighting hard to keep his anger from surfacing. “What do you mean?”

 

“Everything my brother had done over the past three years has been for you. And you know this. So why play pretend, doctor?” Mycroft gestured to the door, causing John to realize they were back at Baker Street. “You will talk to him and fix this, do you understand?”

 

John nodded, exiting the car. He slowly made his way up to their flat, the sound of the violin dancing through the air. John opened the door quietly, watching Sherlock play for a moment before entering. “Sherlock?”

 

The music abruptly stopped. “John. You’re back.”

 

“I wasn’t leaving forever, Sherlock.”

 

“I… I suppose you won’t be needing these, then?” Sherlock said, gesturing to the pile of flat ads. “There were a few for further uptown. You would like it uptown, it’s quiet uptown. Not like here.”

 

“Sherlock… I don’t need the quiet. I don’t need Mary or for you to keep sacrificing yourself every opportunity you see. I just need…”

 

“You just need what?”

 

“I just need you to stay here by my side. Help me work through the unimaginable.”

 

“Of course, John,” Sherlock said softly. He walked closer to the doctor, taking small slow steps. “Are you sure I can be enough?”

 

“If you can just stay alive and here with me, that would be enough, Sherlock. Just don’t leave me again.”

 

“Never, John. Never.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos always appreciated but never required. Also: If you haven't listened to Hamilton yet for any reason, you should totally do that because it's amazing.


End file.
